[Warning: Exaggeration happens. Sometimes. And other times life is just THAT funny.]

The Kindle Chronicles:

First week into Tanzania, Kindle dies. Or well freezes. All I could make out is half an advertisement of some exotic beach locale with a drink with an umbrella in it. I don’t want a drink with an umbrella in it! I want to be able to read about the epic adventures of Sigma Force in some totally ridiculous escapade in the heart of the Arctic! (*rant partially over*). Amazon gets called. They’re quite willing to send a replacement yet considering there are quite a few shipments to the UNDP which have been in transit for months, I decide to be safe and am now having it shipped to another chap who is coming to Tabora at the end of the month. The fact that the customer representative thought I lived in a country called Tetnus did not help alleviate my fears. The icing on the cake is the email I received last night which informed me that I must sent them the damaged kindle within 30 days to not incur charges for the replacement. No clue yet how I will achieve this but am being cheerfully optimistic today. I was not cheerfully optimistic when I received the email yesterday. (In case you were wondering)

Bus Mayhem at Ubungu Bus Station:

We, being the starving college students that we are, decided to take a bus to Tabora. Our taxi driver graciously offered to take us to the station to buy tickets since we would be ripped off otherwise. Lo and behold we got ripped off irrespective. Got sold tickets for a bus which doesn’t even go to Tabora AND got overcharged to boot. Miraculously our Swaheli teacher managed to get our money back after threatening police involvement and we managed to get the correct NBS tickets. Other than the leaking fuel tank, the drivers misconception that he was on an ATV and the five hour moonlit (which was possibly the most beautiful sky I have ever seen) drive on a dirt road, the trip was fairly uneventful.

Escape from the Dar Town Centre with a Exotic Driver to Paradise VER 2.0:

I can’t come up with a word to describe the driver. Just one word. Exotic was the closest I could manage. He was a native of Zanzibar, late 50s I think, wearing tinted pince-nez and according to Hannah, probably couldn’t see out of one eye. I got to be the lucky passenger seat driver and witnessed firsthand how it would feel to sit in the Knight bus from Harry Potter. Laura has a much more detailed post on this over at Teksi! We ended up at Hotel Meditteraneo which was … as mentioned…. paradise version 2 in the middle of nowhere.

Jan Rambo Snake Killa! (this will be completely lost on anyone who did not grow up in Pakistan):

Of late, we do a lot of zooming along dirt tracks in SUVs complete with punctured tires, dust and rattled bones. Recently the driver suddenly stopped and proceeded to attempt to reverse over a silver, lightening fast snake. When that did not work, all men in vehicle exited and proceeded to take turns tossing massive rocks at the snake until they were fairly sure it had been annihilated to the point that even reincarnation seemed doubtful. Plenty of fatal snake bite stories in this part of the world so every time I get off my bed, that’s the first thing I check for. Awesome way to wake up no?

A Day Sniffing Tobacco. Literally:

http://racooncode.com/2011/06/21/the-tobacco-industry-in-tabora

What the Hell Am I Doing Here?

Work-wise overloaded with eHealth, mapping, internet connectivity and electricity issues and will attempt to update the blog as much as I can to give you an idea of what’s happening on the ground.

¹ Amazonian monopoly of epic proportions on the world of ebook readers and all consequent associated monopolistic disadvantages. No page numbers. I’m serious. You can’t navigate to a page number. I’m guessing the programmer working on this doesn’t read much. Or get out much. Or have a girlfriend, who reads.
² http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pince-nez
³ http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Ernie_Prang

So here start the usual monthly/bimonthly missives from the heart of this itty bitty safari hostel smack in the middle of the car repair shops in Dar es Salaam. The room has skylights on each end which are always open and consequently I can hear each and every word uttered by my neighbours. Also was woken up frantically by knocking on my door at 5:30 a.m. today morning and the conversation went somewhat like this:

*frantic knocking*
Saira: *ignores first bout of frantic knocking*
*MUCH LOUDER frantic knocking*
Saira: Who is it? *one eye refusing to unstick*
Knocker: Wade
Saira: Wade who?
Wade: I just wanted to make sure you guys have woken up for the safari. So psyched!
Saira: I think you have the wrong room (followed by quite a few choice expletives in the reccesses of her brain)

So… lets see… usual headings:

Turkish Delight and ze Awesome Nibbling Party of 6 (well 5 ) which consumed it:

I will live in Istanbul some day. Seriously. Some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Did a two day stopover with five awesome friends of mine, which included regular yelps of surprise when timed lights in the dorm bathroom went off, the 100+ pictures of the sunset we took from the Asian side, the Monica kidnapping (pseudo) by locals for a photography session in the Blue Mosque and so forth. We also happened to be there when one of the local teams won a football game and the whole town went ballistic. Streams of people literally flowed towards Taxim square where we happened to be staying and despite it being a Sunday the streets were jammed at 2 a.m. As for the Turkish delight, I’m not much of a fan but my fellow travellers partook with relish.

Bongoyo: Hannah Quickeye, Laura Babblefish, Saira uh…(I’ll come with something) and Vinay as the mysterious Charlie:

Quickeye due to her being able to pick up on things Laura and I seem to be completely missing; from returning keys when exiting the hostel to God knows what. Google babblefish. Bongoyo is an island off the coast of Dar. Involves getting on one boat and then another boat and then yet another boat and stepping onto my version of paradise. Oh and not forgetting the pre- and post- gelato.

Rat Brawl on the Rooftop of the New Africa Hotel complete with Heart Jarring Dare Devil Act:

So… we went to dinner at New Africa Hotel. Some swanky Thai place on the 9th floor. Decided to have desert after and somehow managed to get seated at a deserted poolside table. Did I mention swanky? Now generally when one uses a word such as “swanky” one does not expect New York size rats trudging along on terraces. But there it was. Trudging along. Until… it met another equally massive member of it’s species and before one could say “Whatthecrap”, both rats gave high pitched squeaks, stood on their hind legs, grabbed each other by the arms in true wrestling fashion and toppled off the ledge. Out of sheer concern for their safety (Im sure) one of our party gave quite the exclamation after which yet another topple took place with the rat landing at ground level barely 5 feet from us and scurrying away into the undergrowth. Lets just say… we will not be staying at this “swanky” hotel in the future.

I distinctly remember promising someone a poem on some obscure topic yet can’t for the life of me remember who I made the promise to and what the topic was so… maybe next time.

Miss you all!